


Had she not died

by huntressed



Category: The Lorien Legacies - All Media Types, The Lorien Legacies - Pittacus Lore
Genre: But this is hella angsty, F/M, I don't even know what tags to use for this one smfh, I swear, it was written at 2am while i was drowning in the feels of adam and one, whY'D SHE HAVE TO DIE?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:17:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3970663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntressed/pseuds/huntressed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But she was dead anyway, dead even before he met her. So deep inside, Adam knew that falling for her is something that will only make him bleed. But he’s not good at controlling his emotions, so when all walls break down and he opens up to One and ends up loving her, he knew all at once that he’s just as doomed as she is (or well, the rest of the Garde).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Had she not died

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at 2 in the morning and published at around four lmfao. I'm so emo when I wrote this and I don't even know if it's good or nah. But eh, I'm posting it anyway bc this site needs more Adam and One fanfics istg.

He misses her so terribly much, with the never-ending thoughts in his head about One, he forgot that the world is in trouble, for a while.

Before she went away, he told her that he loves her. He knew that he could have said much more, _what was he thinking?_ She’ll be gone _permanently,_ and that’s all he said?

Out of all the people he could have fallen in love with, he chooses a dead girl. A dead _Garde,_ to be specific. He saw her die and get killed and there’s nothing else that he could do about it. If he knew her… knew her before she died, he would have done something to stop it. He could have gotten a blade through that unnamed warrior’s back.

The water by the lake ripples, and he thinks to himself that if he just died right now, would that mean that he could be reunited with her? _Had she not died,_ he thinks, _we could have lived a happily ever after once the world is safe._ And of course he sees it all in his head, happy people, him kissing One until they’re out of breath, the Garde finally safe.

 _He sees it all._ And it would have all happened so perfectly, had she not died.

She told him that she would have loved him too. And maybe he was expecting for her to say it back, but in a way, that _is_ her saying it back.

Sometimes Adam thinks that he shouldn’t have gotten himself too attached to One. She could still talk him into saving the world and completely foiling the Mogadorian progress without him falling in love with her. _But that didn’t happen._ So now he’s left with longing and bitterness, craving for the sense of familiarity that is Number One.

He remembered the time when they first met, and he did his best to push her away, of course. He remembered trying to scrutinize each and every single one of her memories he was able to access through. He vaguely remembered trying to memorize the Garde’s faces, trying to estimate their possible ages.

But all of that were for nothing. If he knew what this _Mogadorian progress_ would cause before anything else, he would have put a stop to it. And it pains him to think that he had to invade a dead beloved’s privacy to know that everything his people are doing _is wrong._

And then he remembered how bright her blonde hair was against the sun, how she levitated the seashells right above her eyes with her telekinesis during their escape from their previous home. One’s nomadic life had slowly began to be his life, too. She _is_ his life. If he didn’t meet her through her recycled memories, he wouldn’t have had a purpose.

A _real_ purpose. One where he doesn’t have to follow blindly into a book written with only one goal: to conquer everything in sight. And if it wasn’t for One letting him see what will happen if the whole “progress” has pushed through, he would still be blinded by a stupid book written by Setrakus Ra.

He kicks the water, hoping that One would appear next to him and tell him once more that it’s not going to hurt him. Much to his chagrin, she doesn’t appear next to him. Instead, he just felt lonelier by the moment.

But she was dead anyway, dead even before he met her. So deep inside, Adam knew that falling for her is something that will only make him bleed. But he’s not good at controlling his emotions, so when all walls break down and he opens up to One and ends up loving her, he knew all at once that he’s just as doomed as she is (or well, the rest of the Garde).

He loves her, he still do. And that love runs deeply in his heart and he can hear its every beat chanting her name. It was something he never wished to stop for it does remind him so much of her and it’s the only thing he holds on to while this whole Lorien versus Mogadorian fiasco is happening.

One is his lifeline. She was the one keeping him alive for years, when he was in a comatose state after Anu’s “failed” experiment, when he fell down to that ravine after being pushed down by his own brother _and_ best friend, when he thought that all hope is going to cease; she kept him alive. With her witty comments, sarcasm, obscenity, it was all he ever lived for.

And now that she’s completely gone, he couldn’t see why he’s not allowed to just come with her and be happy with her in the afterlife. But then he remembers, he woke up for _this_ , to save the world along with the others who are still alive. He had the chance, but of course he took it upon himself to try and do what One was supposed to be doing, had she not died in the hands of that unnamed vat-born soldier.

He had never despised someone so deeply as much as his own kind, the very people who celebrated when the sword was run through One’s body. Her demise sent him into shock, but when she completely faded away, he lost a part of himself permanently. The one that will always be with her.

But one thing is for certain, Adam will always love her. No matter what the circumstances are and no matter what the choices are given for him, _he will always choose her._


End file.
